Little known concepts relating to me:

concepts relating to me:

• i always expect people to treat me similar the way that i treat them. i thought that was the golden rule, or something like that.
• i am old and set in my ways, it seems.
• i really enjoy listening to hip hop and rap music. i mght even try my hand at it from time to time...
  
• no i am not dissing you. i enjoy solitude at times.
• i cannot dance, but iwill try. feel free to laugh.
• i wear my heart on my sleeve.
• i am a nice guy, but i am no pushover, punk, etcetera. i ride or die for what i believe in.
• i do not think about sex all of the time. that does not make me gay.
• i like pretty women but i prefer smart women.
• i hate being defined by my job.
• i would like to work doing something i love to do.
• i enjoy eating, cooking, grocery shopping, and any aspect of food immensely.
• i cannot stand disloyalty.
• i know i am not your type. there are many opposites to everything i am. you're alright with me though. i am not that picky.
• i prefer black women but i do not discriminate.
• i love my daughter. i fact i didn't really know what love was until she came along.
  
• i enjoy art and science.
• i dislike spending my time on telephone conversations and most televion programs.
• i cry. sofuckingwhat?
• i have a napoleonic complex. i do try to compensate for my lack of height with other attributes.
• i once practiced ebonics, before ebonics was a term (embarrassed).
• i enjoy cunnilingus.
• i like helping others. by letting me doesn't make you helpless.
• i am a hopeless dreamer.
• i am loyal.

my new diet, and other stuff

well, i've been pretty successful with my new diet. i have been eating raw foods only for a week. well, lets say, i havent been perfect; i allow some things to slide, but overall, i have been sticking to the plan. okay i failed. i've eaten 2 pieces of fish and a chicken breast, plus 3 cups of cooked rice in 5 days. sue me. a shot for the moon and landed among the stars. i have lost 3 lbs. i needed it. i look much leaner now. fuck it, i eat pretty healthy anyhow...
i went on vacation with my daughter and i inly took one picture and did'nt use my video camera. there was only the two of us and i was enjoying the moment for what it was than, and not trying to preserve it forever. cameras are for folks on the outside looking in anyway.
we went to jacksonville, orlando and tampa, Florida. Sea World, Busch Gardens, and wet 'n wild. we also did all to obligatory shopping and eating along the way. mstly we were ther together. that was cool. she's off to her mother now, spending the summer in Nassau, Bahamas. How convenient. It's a nice place to visit, but i wouldn't wanna live there.

I've conclusively stopped pimping my cellphone after the last disater with the device. I have started pimping my ipod with end level user sucess. i only have the belkin TuneCast Mobile FM Transmitter, Belkin Auto Kit for iPod w/ Dock Connector, Speck Products ToughSkin ruggedized iPod cover to start. There will be more cusomization to follow i am sure. i am interested in a remote comtrol and some sort of battery based recharger for the device.

it is done, is it?

well,
i have tranferred my daughter to the care of her mother for the time being.it's probably the best thing for me to do i order to prepare for war. i gotta chance to see her mother again. she looked as good as ever, but, i'll never tell... the last thing i needed was to put my foot in my mouth by complementing her. She engaged me in some small talk, which i enjoyed, to say the least. her little boy is getting so big! it was sad to leave them. i think i was meant to have a family. for now, i don't. As much as i hate to admit it. i wish that i could have taken them all home with me. perhaps it is for the best that i didn't. what is done is done.

on another note, i am considering going on a raw foods diet for one week to see if i like it. i think that type of diet will cleanse and rejuvenate my digestive system. i may even loose a couple of pounds. who knows? i think that if i consume enough water, i will be fine. i need to purge my soul. this form of self deprivation may do my soul some justice. time will tell. I will start when i get off vacation which should be mid tuesday.

I am in the town that i went to high school in, reminiscing fondly of the days of old. i miss the good old days. what i really miss is the innocence of youth.

I am going to jacksonville right now. i hope to indulge in some strip club action!!! I damn sure want to go to the player's club tonight! i probably will settle for watching the new batman movie and going to the grown and sexy spot. I can sport my new kenneth cole shirts or G. Beene slacks i picked up while shopping on vacation.

i really am undecided what to do with my life after tha army. I am really leaning towards getting a cooking job and going to culinary school with my GI bill. i always wanted to do that. i've lived enough of a fucked life, satisfying the needs and/ or goals of others, that i really find the goal to be admirable, respectable, and obtainable. it's not really glamorous, but glamor needs one to behold it. i am in my own zone. watch out!

c'est la vie

well i didn't recieve a complete refund for the purchases i did not recieve from ebay. i lost like 600 dollars. fuck ebay. i dont think i will shop there again. i have had awesome experiences there though. i just never ocurred to me how easy it is to defraud someone using their services.

I got about 30 gigs on my new ipod, making it half full. i still have about 10 gigs of music on standby. i am afraid to take it out of the house. i dont want to scratch it up. i bought a rugged skin for it. it WILL go to iraq with me...

I stopped pimping my cell phone. i opened it and destroyed it (if you didnt know) it cost me a good little grip to replace it as well. i shoulda got a new one. i'll pimp my new new phone i will get when i get out of the army. i cant wait.
Man do i miss talking to you. what can i say??? the most useless question to answer is, "why haven't you called?" the answer is never flattering. i dont wanna say, because i didnt wanna talk to you. some folks will never understand internal solitude. when i find someone who does, we probably will repel each other...

so much, so soon, see you later...

no harm in sitting back and seeing what happens, huh?
well, its like this...
i have just spent nearly the whole last month on field exercises, preparing for the inevitable deployment to iraq. i am not ashamed to admit... i have been training hard with my soldiers, and i feel as if we will be better trained than ever when the time to fulfill our duty is upon us. i hope overconfidence does not equate complacency.

while i was in the field i received an email that i found to be most disturbing. my father sent me an email stating that my grandmother had died. albeit, she was getting old and suffered from several different types of cancer, i still feel as if email is not the way to let someone know. nonetheless, i recieved the email, which did not have a date or time on it and called to find the time. the funeral was on saturday morning. there was no way i could make it. i further widen the rift between me and my family. what more can i say. will talk more later...