theoretical letter to her
dear baby momma,
it really feels weird to call you that. i mean, i used to have so many words of affection for you. now, it seems as if my thoughts of you are limited to this one specific term of detachment. i do not mean to offend.
what i am really saying is, you know we aint together no more...sometimes i feel its my fault. sometimes i feel it was your fault. blame never was a band-aid. this is merely my attempt to atone.
when we were together, i thought i was all man. the truth of the matter is, i wasn't man enough to stop being a boy. in fact, i was just beginning to learn to be the best boy i could be. somehow along the way i learned from some archaic rules of manliness that true manhood is obtained through the aquisition of vaginal friction. every boy wants to be a man one day. thank you for helping me to the right goal through the wrong route.
the real complications in our relationship began when i realized the permanance of our reationship. when i recognized that my percieved behavior of manliness was only a fraction of what being a man is, i panicked. i went to the one place where i could rationalize my irrational attitude towards manhood-away. i came to the following judgement: i am my own individual entity, man, proud to be independant, and strong. i refuse to allow you to take that from me just because of pregnancy. sharing a child is cetainly time defined, recognition of mutual existance. from childhood to adult seems like an eternity. in fact, it is all i have ever experienced. i remember a time when i could say, "i am free." you make me feel trapped. for that reason, i reacted like gas in a closed environment, desiring to be moved to an area of lower pressure...
in hindsight i realize that i am not alone in this world and neither are you. i should have been there when i was not. forced maturity should be a widely advertised side effect of sexual intercourse. i know you found out the hard way. for that i truly apologize.
it was never my intention to make you a single mother. i know the cost of life is high on this planet. i am especially sorry that i expect you to acknowledge when i respect what should be my obligation and duty to my child. age don't make you grown. recognition of responsibilities and obligations are difficult for the selfish. i can barely care for self.
i hope you can find a way to forgive me. if not, i understand. i long for the day when i can refer to you a something other than baby momma. do you have any suggestions?
it really feels weird to call you that. i mean, i used to have so many words of affection for you. now, it seems as if my thoughts of you are limited to this one specific term of detachment. i do not mean to offend.
what i am really saying is, you know we aint together no more...sometimes i feel its my fault. sometimes i feel it was your fault. blame never was a band-aid. this is merely my attempt to atone.
when we were together, i thought i was all man. the truth of the matter is, i wasn't man enough to stop being a boy. in fact, i was just beginning to learn to be the best boy i could be. somehow along the way i learned from some archaic rules of manliness that true manhood is obtained through the aquisition of vaginal friction. every boy wants to be a man one day. thank you for helping me to the right goal through the wrong route.
the real complications in our relationship began when i realized the permanance of our reationship. when i recognized that my percieved behavior of manliness was only a fraction of what being a man is, i panicked. i went to the one place where i could rationalize my irrational attitude towards manhood-away. i came to the following judgement: i am my own individual entity, man, proud to be independant, and strong. i refuse to allow you to take that from me just because of pregnancy. sharing a child is cetainly time defined, recognition of mutual existance. from childhood to adult seems like an eternity. in fact, it is all i have ever experienced. i remember a time when i could say, "i am free." you make me feel trapped. for that reason, i reacted like gas in a closed environment, desiring to be moved to an area of lower pressure...
in hindsight i realize that i am not alone in this world and neither are you. i should have been there when i was not. forced maturity should be a widely advertised side effect of sexual intercourse. i know you found out the hard way. for that i truly apologize.
it was never my intention to make you a single mother. i know the cost of life is high on this planet. i am especially sorry that i expect you to acknowledge when i respect what should be my obligation and duty to my child. age don't make you grown. recognition of responsibilities and obligations are difficult for the selfish. i can barely care for self.
i hope you can find a way to forgive me. if not, i understand. i long for the day when i can refer to you a something other than baby momma. do you have any suggestions?
posted by blackcaesar at 19:35
1 Comments:
Where did you find it? Interesting read » » »
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