My funeral

I ask you this question: how do you want to be remembered? Keep in mind, the question is NOT how would you choose to die or what do want your legacy to consist of. I am asking, what type of memorial do you desire? Personally, I hope that when I die that I am offered a funeral of some sort.

What type of funeral?

Before the hurricane Katrina blasted through, I used to want a New Orleans Funeral. If you’ve never witnessed a New Orleans funeral procession, there is one famously enshrined in the James Bond movie Live and Let Die. The funeral cortege parades through the streets of NOLA with lots of live jazz music and dancing. It is a procession that is mildly somber, but a celebration nonetheless. When I leave, I want to shout, “it’s a celebration bitches!!!”

Then again, it would be interesting to be the guest of honor at a “spread my ashes out to sea”. Though I am not much of an oceanic person, I have lived near the Atlantic Ocean coastline and can point to many landmarks in my life and relate them to the water. Perhaps the best spot that I could think of would be at the rock pier (yes, a pier made of large rocks) that emerges into the jetty at Ponce de Leon inlet, near New Smyrna Beach, Florida. I would want someone close to me to just walk to the end of the pier and toss my remains as far as possible via football shaped urn. I’ll call it my final two-point conversion.

Being in the United States military and serving during wartime, I have become accustomed to associating death with the military funeral. There are several different types of military funeral and I’d most like the “field memorial, in which the song taps is played by alone bugler and a 21 gun salute. There would also be a photo of me at the alter along with a m16, combat boots and a set of dog tags, arranged in traditional form. I am not interested in the formal type of military funeral, complete with flag draped casket, unless I am to be buried at Arlington Cemetery. Then I want to be buried in my military dress uniform (class A’s).

I also would like to get one of those soon to be classic thug funerals. You know, the ones where everyone shows up wearing a tee shirt silk-screened with your image across the front. You know, the type of funeral that boasts real hood music. Some of the music I’d like played at my thug funeral would include:

• Change Gon’ Come- Sam Cooke
• So Hard too Say Good Bye- Boys II Men
• Moment of Silence- Quan
• Gansta Lean- DRS
• Blackberry Molasses- Mista
• Crossroads- Bone Thugs n Harmony-
• P. Diddy- missing you

And yes, I want there to be some damn liquor poured…I don’t even care what kind it is.

I wouldn’t want a “dress in black” funeral at the local Baptist church…

Who would attend my funeral? The funeral isn’t intended for the deceased as it is intended for the survivors. Why would I care? I would hope that someone mourns me. I would hope that I left an impression on someone in my life. I foresee minimal attendance in my funeral. Hell, I might not even go…