what i learned on vacation....

i have just come from vacation.
i drove 3000 miles,
across the continent,
solo.
driving that much gives one time to think.
this is what i learned:

i am more shallow than i'd like to admit.
america is beautiful.
i really like cadillacs.
kids grow fast.
i can gauge distance by how many songs have played on my ipod.
clean your home before you leave.
some people drink way too much.
the mountains of west virginia are beautiful in the snow.
it is best to share the road.
how children are raised is always debated.
i have outgrown my mothers cooking.
if you do something wrong and you recognize, don't repeat it.
i hate the police for no particular reason.
lady saw "strip tease" reminds me of my daughter's mother.
i am a man of principals.
i need to loose some weight.
i like my mp3 compatible cd changer better than FM receiver ipod
i need to learn to swallow my pride.
i am getting old.
upstate new york has beautiful farmland...
it is best to do what will improve the quality of your life.
there are a lot of pretty women in colombus, ohio.
expectation is different from actuality.
my grandmother had a shopping addiction.
a good mate is hard for me to find because my character is unique.
italian/ Mediterranean food is my favorite.
everyone exists in the center of their own universe.
i have repressed my sexuality in the name of morality.
i have too many shoes.
receiving gifts has become difficult to me.
having a glass of wine with some folks is fine.
i miss my daughter.
bread is good.
goodbye is difficult.
i have grown used to being alone.
eating most meat is overrated.
my grandfather had a gambling addiction.
big bridges are awesome...Especially the view.
Pennsylvania has shitty roads, poor drivers, and too many tolls.
the dipset movement makes me nauseous, their music sucks badly...
i am a poor musician but i really like my music.
blaxploitation music was made for cadillacs.

i need a drink

well,
my thanksgiving dinner erupted into a drunken maylay.
my relatives got dronk and anted to fight.
they were fighting for no reason even.
i am a mellow drunk.
in relation i am a moderate drunk as well.
i am no wine snob,
i drink wine from a box.
i drink a tequila shot of patron
or a house margarita...
the difference is,
i drink responsibly,
in my opinion.
i do not drink solely for the purpose
of getting beyond my reasoning...
i will never drive intoxicated.
i will never let drinking get in the way
of my duties in life...
is that the precursor towards quitting?
drinking isolates me.
i never drink in public, 'cause i can't drive....
yet, i don't like to babysit unruly drunks.
ohh well,
i need a drink.

to be a veteran.

this a picture of me right before i deployed to iraq. my uniform was so clean!!! i had no idea what to expect when i went to war. i was open minded. i imagined that going to war, i would see what man would do in light of the relative mortality of man. i concluded the obvious. war is hell. in the descent to hell and its relative environments, the savage nature of man can no longer be hidden beneath a veil of civilized behavior. the animalistic instincts of man come to surface, and basic instincts prevail.

to be a soldier is to not be a polititian. to debate the politics that keep me in a time of peace or a time of war may interfere with wy internal debate to kill or be killed, which i must focus on... that does not mean that i am not aware of the relative victories and transgressions of policy and decision makers. i still vote.

to be a soldier is to be a philosopher. the balance between life and death is intertwined in every action that a soldier performs. for a soldier, life or death is not theoretical, it is actual. when one is faced with the prospect of wielding such power, questions such as " why am i here?" or "what is the meaning of life?" are actually not theoretical anymore; they are actual. Questions like, "is it better to loved or feared?" are everyday conflicts when one lives a life where relative discipline will directly reflect life or death of you and your brothers in arms.

to be a soldier is to be a psychologist. you always have to try to determine the mindset of everyone around you. anyone can need psychological support or defense from psychotic actions of others. suicide, homicide, fratricide, depression, anxiety, fear, love, hatred, animosity, remorse, disgust, thankfulness, and relief, can occupy your mind all at the same time. the mind is a tangle similar to spaghetti noodles on a plate. to be a soldier is to keep you noodles on the plate.

soldiers die. i wish restful peace to the soldiers that have served by my side, that are no longer her to do the things that i took for advantage before i went to war. i will not call these soldiers by name, but will use the philosophy of one of my favorite movies, fight club, to declare my sentiment.
soldier's are often nameless.
through death, a soldiers name lives on...
if death has a name, i will call him robert paulsen.
Rest in Peace
Robert Paulsen.

this a picture of me and my comrade in arms: chaos and blackcaesar after returning from war.
in reflection on veterans day,
blackcaesar.

How to make a blackcaesar

Ingredients: 3 parts friendliness 5 parts brilliance 5 parts joy

Method: Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Top it off with a sprinkle of curiosity and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

something i feel this morning...

This is Your Life - The Dust Brothers featuring Tyler Durden

And you open the door and you step inside
Where inside our hearts

Now imagine that your pain is a white ball of healing light
That's right-your pain, the pain itself is a white ball of healing light

I don't think so

This is your life Good to the last drop
It doesn't get any better than this
This is your life and its ending one minute at a time

This isn't a seminar This isn't a weekend retreat
Where you are now You can't even imagine what the bottom will be like
Only after disaster can we be resurrected
Its only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything
Nothing is static Everything is evolving
Everything is falling apart

This is your life(4)
It doesn't get any better than this
This is your life(4)
And its ending one minute at a time

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else
We are all part of the same compost heap
We are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world

You are not your bank account
You are not the clothes you wear
You are not the contents of your wallet

You are not your bowel cancer
You are not your grand latte
You are not the car you drive
You are not your fucking khakis

You have to give up
You have to give up
You have to realise that someday you will die
Until you know that, you are useless.

I say never let me be complete
I say may I never be content
I say deliver me from Swedish furniture
I say deliver me from clever art
I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
I say you have to give up
I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.

This is your life(4)
Doesn't get any better than this
This is your life(4)
And its ending one minute at a time

You have to give up
You have to give up
I want you to hit me as hard as you can(2)
Welcome to Fight Club
If this is your first night, you have to fight

my revolutionary beard

this is a picture of my beard.
it is a nice beard.
there are many like it,
but this one is mine.
why is it that, not having a beard
is called, "clean shaven?"
why is having a beard considered dirty?
in my line of work,
the beard is forbidden.
i grew this beard on my last vacation.
i think that a distiguished gentleman
should wear a beard.


dick gregory wears a beard.
he a 60's comedian,
vegetarian,
civil rights activist,
a drum major for equal rights
and
nutritional consultant.
i bet, someone once told him
that his beard added 20 pounds
to his appearance.
he probably responded,
no.
that bucket of
kentucky fried chicken
adds 20 pounds to your appearance.
"power to the people!"

frederick douglass wore a beard.
he was an american abolitionist,
editor,
orator,
author,
reformer.
among his many debates
with booker t. washington,
i am sure that,
" i have a better beard than you"
was on the debating block as well.
he was born a slave.
upon eaning his freedom,
he grew a beard,
and shouted, "power to the people!"

fidel castro wears a beard.
his quintessntial mortal opposite
was the "clean cut", john kennedy.
the cuban missle crisis
was theoretically a shaving demand.
His beard was a direct reflection
of his revolutionary concepts
of western politics in relation
to a worldwide balance of power.
why do you think che guevara
wore his beard?
castro's beard is a symbol of his stregnth
as a leader
and clearly states, "power to the people!"


karl marx wore a beard.
karl marx revolutionized
how the world views
separations of class.
life is an eternal struggle
between the haves
and the have nots.
he definitely was talking about,
having facial hair (and lots of it!)
see, facial hair is superior.
his facial coif screams,
"power to the people!"



confucius wore a beard.
confucius say,
"is one who sides with
tenacious opinions a gentleman,
or is he merely putting on
a dignified appearance?"
i say,
confucius was talking about his beard.
my fortune cookie says,
"education is what survives
when what has been learned
has been forgotten."
i say, "power to the people!"



jesus wore a beard.
what
would
jesus
do?
perhaps he would say,
grow a beard.
"power to the people!"