i live

perhaps the real secret of life is recognizing that you don't live forever....

anyhow, i am saddened by the prospect that my daughter will be going to live with her mother while i prepare for the inevitable deloyment to iraq. I have been preparing for this moment for a while, however, i know i will not be able to fight the tears, no matter how hard i try. Perhaps i should spend time with her instead of ______...

it's been a while since i've updated this blog. sofuckinwhat!!!! I' ve been busy; i actually have been doing productive things and I am not giving a reference to "i really find THIS unimportant". I really gotta get over myself!!!

I saw redemption with J. Foxx, starring as Stanley "tookie" Williams, the co-founder of the crips. I found the film to be an introspective look into " the grass is greener" philosophy... I never will understand how a man responsible for the propagation of death would avoid it at all costs. death would be his ultimate release. I am really surprised that the man is still alive anyhow. Shit, even tyler durden dies in the end.

I think i have to come to the realization that i cannot teach my daughter to be a more moral person overall. being moral is a personal decision based on your influences. i can only present "options" to the girl. Immorality is easy, especially when the ones you love and respect are immoral themselves. my kid doesn't live in this world by herself. she will be influenced by someone other than myself. i hope the at i have influenced her to do right. i cannot tell. she has limited capacity for telling the truth. i find lies deplorable. But then again, what do i know of morality, i drink and curse. i guess no one is perfect. i will remain flexible.